The flexibility of thought is key to our psychological and emotional wealth. As humans we are fallible, complex and changeable, but no one of us is broken.
For good emotional wealth we need the following;
Responsibility for thoughts and feelings
Flexible and non extreme thoughts
Value of scientific thinking, and not expecting perfection
Interest in yourself and your growth
Provide your own direction
Understanding of your happiness as your responsibility
Joy in taking calculated risks
Our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are generated from an activating event, this creates a belief, and ultimately a consequence. When we filter these beliefs and turn into language we create our own meaning. If this is an unconscious reaction, we create a pattern in our minds that becomes automatic inflexible. Changing these unconscious reactions to conscious choice creates a more flexible and rational reaction. Taking the time to reflect, consider and take action allows us to free ourself from irrational behaviours and beliefs.
The human mind is set up to respond in the same way that we question it
Consider this, there are more words in the English language to describe feeling bad than there are good, so is it any wonder that we train our unconscious mind to think this way? The truth is that no one else can ever effect how we feel, they can say or do something to us, but it is up to us and our conscious choices that decide how we react to it. Reacting emotionally with unconscious, rigid and irrational beliefs will only create stronger neural pathways in the mind, as our brains will only look to affirm this and keep us in a box with only one perspective outwards.
This negative, unconscious, rigid and irrational belief system becomes the way that we start to question ourselves with, without taking conscious control. As this repeats we form an engrained pattern that becomes real and certain to the mind. Our brains look to affirm what we feel, ignoring anything that contradicts our belief. We seek to maintain it, look for the areas in our lives where this comes true and stack the evidence for it, like a court room drama. If we however, allow ourselves to take conscious control and challenge this, re-language our thoughts and ask more positive questions of ourselves, consciously then we can start to destroy the reinforcement.
Our nervous system needs a mixture of emotions to grow. The key is to notice them and not live in the negative ones
Through taking conscious responsibility for our lives we start to grow and move forward. Our focus goes where our energy flows. By replacing our irrational beliefs with rational ones we can start to create a more rational belief system. Of course we will be challenged by irrational thoughts, but we have the choice of how we react to them. By consciously maintaining our minds as we would a vehicle it will run more smoothly and deciding on and working on new and more flexible beliefs is part of our conscious engagement to live a more positive and emotionally wealthy life.
Founder and Emotional Mindset Coach at NEW - Nurturing Emotional Wealth